September 16, 2008



I know this has no bearing on the subject at hand...I just wanted to get this comment out there for someone to read and comment on. Thanks...

Just wanting to talk to someone about bipolar since the guy I just broke up with has it and he's not on his meds that he's been taking for many years. It was because of me that he's not taking them, cause I selfishly suggested that he doesn't because of the so many side affects that he was having and I liked him better without them. He was more alert and more fun! What a mistake...I know that now! But I guess I knew what I was getting into and the consequences going in, and what could happen if he wasn't on his meds. He even tried to warn me, that he would run, but he'd be back. I didn't care, I just cared about my new found happiness that I'd never had in my life at that very moment! I figured since I was in his life and he was so in love with me...that it could make a difference this time around in his mania. I had been through some bipolar experiences with my friend and her father before so I wasn't walking in blind sited.

It has been a very devastating breakup for me and I'm trying to get through it. I can't eat properly or sleep well and I'm going through my own anxiety. My mind is playing tricks with me constantly too...I can't even sleep at my own apartment yet...since he is all I see there. I wish I could push a delete button on some of my memory banks!

I believe that he is on his high right now and on his way to his mania. He left me because of his cyberspace involvement with an old friend of his from 20 years ago that he used to do drugs with and he thinks he's head over heals in love with her after 2 weeks just communicating via email...not even by phone yet. I guess I just want some validation about the bipolar and see if I can't get some understanding about it and press on with my life...which is very hard to do since he was such an intricate part of it.

I have read Jamison's book "The Unquiet Mind" and it all sounds too familiar. I was hoping even to get in touch with her...but I figured that was impossible. I guess posting this could get some comments that would be helpful. I just hate to give him up! I wake up constantly in the night hearing his voice commenting on something or other. We spent more fun loving times together in the past 8 months than I did with my husband of 30 years. He's 53 and I'm 51. I am so hurt by all of this. I've never been through anything like this before. Oh and I have told his family finally that he is not taking the meds, just in case God forbid that they need to rescue him.

I just need some comfort! Thanks in advance to anyone who comments!

Posted by: Valerie at September 23, 2008 4:10 AM

I understand about feeling that someone is more fun when they're off their meds for bipolar. When they're "fun" they're in the early stages of mania. Mania can last a few hours or a few months. Grandiose ideas&sudden changes in thought are frequent-hence the online involvement. It is VERY hard to be in a relationship w/someone who's bipolar. You seem to have known what to expect, so here you are. You're just going to have to let him go.

Posted by: Laura A Thomas at September 23, 2008 7:18 PM

Thanks for the comment Laura....I am in such a state of denial...that I can't seem to let him go! We talk every now and then and text; but I feel like his best friend and that's about the size of it! His interests are somewhere else! I let myself get too involved and I gave it everything I had and then some! It ended with a snap of a finger! I'm living a daily pity party that I already know I shouldn't be doing! My mind is so much more powerful than my soul! You sound like a woman that has some experience with this!

Thanks again....

Posted by: Valerie at September 23, 2008 9:27 PM

Just thought I'd let you know that there are other women dealing with bipolar SOs in the Pendulum Forums at

Stop down and check it out.

Posted by: daedalus at October 5, 2008 5:37 PM

New Medications Coming
I didn't find out I was bi-polar till I was 50 am now 53 its been a very long haul for me. and trust me the man you say you love its a haul for him now.
Why would you ever tell him to go off his medications in the first place did he become boring, or did he gain weight?
Being Manic is NO fun let me tell you, you stay up for days in and day out till you drop over, you don't want to go anywhere.
As far as his X girlfriend thats a fase he is going through trust me I went through it. You love everyone who loves you. when your on your medication you love the one your with, and your morals are in place, Not out in left field.
Bi-Polar don't mean your NUTS, it is a disease just like cancer,heart disease and when everyone understands this it will make us who have this not fear to tell anyone.
I didn't know what was wrong with me all these years, I drank for many years thank God no drugs. I moved away from all my friends and family left everything and came 3000 miles away and came to my dream man so I thought, well all ended I had to get help and work and so on then I had an accident and boom I was told I was bi-polar I thought they were all NUTS being I was in the medical field how could this be. well I finally gave up and gave in to it all, I not only am that I have anxiety, agorphobia as well to go along with it. No more drinking, Well now I am off workers comp and find out am on all the wrong meds and have to start all over again. So I ask you again why in Gods name would you have him Go off his meds? But I will tell you this his manic stage he is going through is a stage and stage only and when he crashes pray for him espescially being a drug user. I would contact his family, get couseling for yourself and let go for right now and Pray.
Like I said this isn't fun at all. and you all talk as though we have malaria we don't its a chemical problem in the brain. read about it and you will understand more and getting into a relationship with someone who has it isn't bad its bad if you tell them to go off the meds.
Sorry if I sound angry but wow is all I can say I can't understand that to just see and have fun the way you use to?
May angels watch over you and many of Gods blessings to you and to your boyfriend as well.

Posted by: Terrie at November 27, 2008 3:30 AM

this comment is to Terri. I would like to e-mail as I too have bipolar and have been in the medical field tho not working at this time. It is devastating. I was diagnosed at 49 then told I did not have bipolar but severe depression and anxiety. Then at age 51 hospitalized again and told I do have bipolar 1. I am trying to start my life over as I lost everything. My e-mail is

Posted by: Vickie at April 1, 2009 10:52 AM