Life Goes On...

[Zooie]

First, while living with BPD, we still live our daily lives as well...raising children, working, and even simple stuff like shopping, vacations, etc. Spirit and I have decided to start "Life Goes On..." so there is a place for us, and anyone else, to just "talk" about our lives post-BP dx so to speak (sorta like Check-In...).

So, for the first post, I'd like to say how wonderful it was to meet Spirit (and her husband) in "real" life last week, while they were on vacation! I was going to start this Tuesday, the day they got home, but she called me today to say "goodbye" and so while I was thinking about it, I decided to post today.

Dear Lois:
Welcome home! I'll bet y'all are glad to get back "on schedule", Calif. time! I'm so glad you got to see your son, and Ken his son. And I was SO happy to finally meet you, it went too fast, but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience I'll always remember. But I'm glad you are here on Pendy! And I know Colleen will be glad to see you. It got cold here while y'all were here so bet you're glad to get back to sunny Calif. Anyway, will look forward to "talking" to you here again. Take care!

[Muddler]

Glad you started this post. I used to furtively read your old one & really enjoyed it. I trust you won't mind if others pop in.

[Zooie]

Hi Muddler,
Of course anybody can join in, pop in, drop in, meander around, and please post too, all the above.

[Spirit]

Hi Zooie and whoever else is out there. Well I'm home in sunny So Calif but it was chilly today and made me think of Georgia and Virginia. It's dryer here as it's high desert. Zooie, you are a neat lady in person and fun to be with. Well, we got here yesterday around 4 pm and had a great reunion with Coleen. She's been sticking pretty close. The house looked great and our bed felt wonderful. This morning I unpacked and did laundry. Surprisingly, we didn't leave anything behind. I went to Curves, ugh, went to the market and the library. ..... Most of our trip was hanging out with our sons. I was marketing with Jonathan and thought to myself, it is so great just to be doing this with him (he's 40). Of course he's so fun to be around. I call it an infusion of Jonathan. That should keep me for at least a couple of years. We loved his new dog Billy, a pit bull mixed with I think labrador. He's not quite a year old. A really fun animal. Jon and I cooked dinner one night (pasta in a marinera sauce with sausage) and Ken and I made biscuits and gravey and scrambled eggs Sunday am. (Ken and I went to church first.) Jon and I took a lot of pictures of gorgeous flame colored trees around Richmond. Mike's (Ken's son) house is busier with a teenaged daughter. We saw/heard her in a chorus presentation, went to a neighborhood chili cook-off, and watched Mike and Amy play slow pitch baseball. We ate out some. My most favorite meal was at Boychix (a jewish deli near where Jon works where I had lox and bagels (we don't have a deli in Hemet you have to go to Palm springs for that). Also had some lovely grilled salmon at O'Charleys in Acworth Ga. A fun meal was at the Univ of Richmond where Jon's wife works. They actually had a Mongoleon BarBQue set up there and it was great. If you want to know what that is let me know and I'll try to describe it. Jon's wife, Debbie, unfortunately was pretty well tied up most of the time we were there. She's a neat lady and has bipolar disorder as well. She's on an even keel and has been for quite awhile. That's where being on the right meds really comes in I think. She and another person run a bipolar group much like the DBSA group I go to. She's actice in NAMI as well and went to their convention out here in Calif a few months ago. Well I've made up for not being on the webBoard for 11 days, I guess. Missed you all, although Zooie kind of kept me in the loop a bit. Hope others feel free to chime in about whatever.

[Spirit]

Hi, Zooie got in touch with me to let me know why she hadn't been posting lately. It seems that her modem stopped functioning. She's getting it fixed on Monday and will be back then. I brought her up to date on everyone and she was glad as she has missed the contact with Pendulum people.

[Zooie]

Lois. It worked! The http address you gave me took me right here! But things look so different than my old computer. But ohhh, it's so good to be back online! (I'm at the library, I had to work today, they called me in to fill in at my Sunday clients. Whew I'm tired.)

Have you gotten over your jet lag yet? I'm so glad yours and Kens visits went well. You know, I've decided you need to open up your own restaurant! Y'all love going to different places to eat and sounds like you try different things at home too.

How is Colleen? I'll bet she won't leave you alone now. lol

Well, they are stingy here at the library, we are only allowed to use the computers for 1 hour, so I'm going to go catch up on the rest of the posts. But it's SO good to be back here, even for a few minutes. I'm going to have to decide if I can afford that HP netbook thingy, at any rate I'll have to wait until after taxes are paid in December. Bummer. But I can come here 3 days a week, so that will have to do for now. I hope you and Ken are doing well. I'll drop by again tomorrow. Take care, and thanks again for the http address!

[Zooie]

Hi Lois,
I was so hoping I'd be able to read a message from you today, I guess you were busy Tuesday. I'm at the library. Their computer hours are really crazy. On Mon,Tues they're up all day until 4pm, then on Wed they don't start up until 2pm! Then I work thurs Fri, and Sat, they are down at 11:30am. What crap that is, but it's all I have now so it will have to do.

Today I'm tired, a little depressed, even have a slight headache. I went to the dollar store and *finally* got some tylenol arthritis pain meds (generic) and hope that stops the aches and pains of old age. lol It's absolutely beautiful here today, nice breeze, sun's out, not too cold or hot, I love the fall except for the BP blues. But coming here to the library will get me out of the house for a bit.

Well, just checking in to say hi, hope all is well in yours and Ken's world today. I'll be back here on Monday. Take care penpal!

[Spirit]

Hi Zooie, Yes Coleen was so very happy to see us and we got right back into our relationship with her. She was totally well taken care of by our tenant....Yesterday was totally busy. One of the things we did was to go to Walmart to buy things for a 5 to 10 year old boy to go fill up a shoe box to be sent to some kid living in poverty somewhere. Franklin Graham (Billy's son) started this a few years back and our church has gotten involved. You won't believe it but we spent $44 filling up that big shoebox. We bought him a long-sleeved shirt, sox, pencils, pens, toothbrush, toothpast, balls, yoyo, etc. Ken really got into it and said it was a lot of fun...... We picked up a frozen turkey at Fresh and Easy for 37cents a pound that Ken's gonna smoke in his Weber BarBQ and we'll take it to our senior dinner at church that night. .....Am so glad you were able to get through to Pendulum I know that it made your day...I went to a red hat lunch minus the red hat today. I'm in two groups. This group doesn't want to send in $20 dollars per woman to the Nat'l org. (which has just been instituted) so I figure I don't havae to wear a hat if I don't want to. The other group decided to send in the money. We ate at MIMI's. I had a salad with grilled chicken and fruit. Also got a blueberry muffin. I ate the blueberrys only..... I read some good new s in the paper this morning. It seems that we may get a pretty wet winter around here this go round. That would be so great. Ken and I are very careful with how we use water around here....My trip has not worn off yet. I think about it from time to time.... Well, take care and enjoy your days....

[Zooie]

Wow. As usual you sound busy! That was nice of that person to start the box gift for needy kids, and glad you and Ken are helping out, y'all are really nice people Lois. In Chattanooga they put trees in the mall with names on them and you can "sponsor" a child at Christmas who otherwise won't get anything. I've noticed a trend in the USA lately of people helping people more than ever these days. That's really encouraging, right? I used to sponsor a little boy in India once for years until he was too old to sponsor (with Christian Children's Fund). Never heard from him as to how he is now, but I felt good doing that. It warms your heart doesn't it? I think I'm going to start tithing to the 700 Club. What is your take on that? I watch it at my ThursFri client's house and they seem to be an honest group and really do help others. Since I don't go to church, thought that might be a good thing to start doing.

Anyway, I set my clock to get up today (Saturday) so I could come here and see how you and everybody are doing. It's beautiful again today, what luck! Glad you're getting good weather too. So far my little heater is working well. We'll see.

I haven't had anything interesting to eat this week, and thanks for posting your outings and what you had to eat! I enjoy hearing that. I love blueberry muffins. Bojangles has something called a BoBerry with blueberries and icing, it's real good.

Oh, my Sunday client had her tooth pulled. With multiple sclerosis, she was so worried the shots to numb her gums would cause nerve damage but things went well. Also, I got the ball rolling to try and get her a decent motorized wheelchair. The one she has now, she can easily slide out of it if she's not in it just right (she doesn't have any control in her legs.) Isn't that sad? I'm so mad they wouldn't let her get a new one but we had a wheelchair expert talk at our last meeting and I talked to him. So we'll see.

Well, I'm going to go look around here. An hour goes fast! Take care, "talk to you soon"!

[Spirit]

Hi Zooie, Been over to my daughters for a couple of days. We set this up so that I could watch both the older grandsons play soccer at least once. It was fun as usual. Bought the youngest a puzzle so when I got there we'd have something to do together. Then when the other two got home I asked them eac what was it like in a second (fifth) graders life from dawn to dusk. Got great responses.,,, Ken was lonely while I was gone. He always has the option to come with, but doesn't want to so I don't push. ....Oh I'd definitely start tithing if I were you and the 700 Club is a great place to put your money. To me, tithing is like insurance in a way. .....Our church is gonna' partner up with 4 nearby schools and provide turkeys for needy families there as well as in our church. We can get cheap turkeys at our supermarket if we spend at least $25 dollars and bring them to church the Sunday before thanksgiving. They are put in a big freezer truck and passed out a few days later....My tummy is growing while I'm not gaining weight. I don't know. Maybe it's metamucel. Is that fatening? Or maybe I'm taking to much levathroid for my thyroid? It really bugs me. Have cut down on cookies and i.c.....Tuesday is Ken's birthday. Cathy and I both couldn't figure out what to get him. He has few wants and when he does want something, he gets it. So I got a bright idea. He loves to eat and cook. We contacted Omaha Steaks and went in on an order for him including a chocolate cake. I asked him this morning not to bake anything this week. We still have some brownies around as it is. ... Church was sorrowful this am. Paster talked about people elsewhere who are persecuted because they are christians. People in places like Iran and Indonesia - raped, scarred, killed. It's pretty awful. We here take our freedom of religion for granted. I sometimes think I don't know what real suffering is....I don't want to end on a negative note. ..Weather here is still in the low 70's. So nice. Hope you have a good week. Hope your client apprciates you. (wheelchair)...See ya....

[Zooie]

Hi Spirit, here I am at the library, getting used to it now! I'm so glad you got to visit your daughter and grandkids, I know you really enjoy spending time with them.

That's great about the turkeys being donated. This year, as usual, I'll be going to my neighbor's house. He does like Ken does and smokes it, it's delicious. Early on he was a cook in the navy and he makes incredible dressing, I always look forward to it, and Christmas there too. Oh! I finally called Karen (my client for 2 yrs that died last year...her daughter) and we're going to Red Lobster this Thursday at 5:30. I'll be in Dalton anyway so it was convenient for us both. I can't wait!

Sunday was a challenge. My client is depending on me more and more to do her stuff (laundry, shopping, etc.). She's lost several aides because of her "attitude" but I seem to get along with her. Can't figure it out but we have fun. Sometimes when confronted with illness, sorrow, etc. I switch over to "happy mode" to see me through, and guess it helps her too, we have a good time and laugh a lot.

Well, hate to cut this short, but am going to browse the rest of the forum in my measly hour here at the library. Oh! Tell Ken HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and here's a cake for him: _iiiiiiiii_ <-for you Ken. (lemonade)

[Spirit]

Hi Zooie, Well I can see how you would get along well with your difficult client while in your "happy mode". I'm glad you get a few laughs with her. That makes for a fun job, right?..... Nothing much going on. I put a roast on, in the slow cooker this morning. It's real easy. While you sear the meat, you cut up potatoes, carrots, and onions and put them in the bottem of the slow cooker. Then you put the meat on top. You next put 3/4 cup water in a measuring cup and add 1 TBSP worcestershire sauce, 2 tsps. boulion granules, and 1 tsp oregano flakes in that and stir. Pour it over the meat and cook on slow all day. It's so great and we can eat from it for two or three nights during the week. I'm not that crazy about cooking any longer. I do easy things. I can't remember when I last made a cake, or cookies. Probably last holiday season.....Well, I lied. I weighed myself this am and found I had gained 4 pounds. Gotta watch my food intake or I won't be able to fit in my clothes. Have thought about walking in the afternoons. We'll see....My emails got screwed up late last week. Tons of repeats of four of them dated ll/3 and no more. I called Time - Warner yesterday and worked with them on the phone for about an hour. It was the CA Anti Virus that was preventing new emails from coming in. It's free from them so I can't complain but I just hate having these things come up on the computer and having to call and get them fixed. Oh well. It is what it is...Well, now I well paruse the rest of the Board and see what I can see. Till next time....

[Zooie]

Hi Spirit...how was Ken's birthday? Did you get the steaks? Wow, you sound like a great cook, even tho you don't cook much anymore. Roast used to be my all-time favorite meal cooked by my mom, I never learned how to do it right. But I like it slightly burnt and a little crisp, sounds awful but it's delicious that way! Lately when I get my vegetables from the little "good cooking" restaurant here in town, I've been getting pistacio salad. It's soooo good, and good for you I guess.

Guess you read my rant. Lois, I got so upset with Walgreens! You wouldn't believe how that girl messed up my simple sheet of new prescriptions from my regular doc. Anyway, I got a free prescription from it all! And finally got the rest of my Seroquel (they only had 10!) so alls well again.

It's raining here today. I woke up and read the clock wrong, thought it was ten to one, but it was five after 10! So I'll get to enjoy more of my day off. They haven't called me to work extra this week and that's fine with me.

Oh, when I talked to Karen she said I could get a "real" notebook for only $300. I called WalMart and for $400 you can get the real thing with Windows 7, slots for CDs and discs, and hookups for my modem and printer. Wow. I'm so used to being ripped off by Macintosh I couldn't believe a computer was actually that cheap! So, I'll do my income tax by electronic filing and have it direct deposit and get it fast so I can get one. Problem solved!

I'm sorry you're having computer problems. Those viruses are scary. When I was trying to "fix" my computer I ran a virus scan and found FOUR! But they were dated a long time ago so guess it didn't really interfere much. Anyway, glad you got it straightened out. I found a place here on the web called mail2web where I can retrieve my email. I can't send, but at least I got rid of all the ones that had piled up.

Well, going to go browse a bit. Take care penpal. "Talk" to you soon. Have a good day.

[Spirit]

Hey Zooie, that's fantastic that you can get outfitted at Walmart for only 400 dollars. Actually that's more or less what I paid for my Dell computer a year ago last July. Then I bought a brand new printer for around 20 dollars at a garage sale. Got a free piece of furniture to house the whole thing when Ken's son picked one up on somebody's lawn one day. It really wasn't in all that bad a shape.....Gave Ken his birthday card today and some from the grandsons and Cathy. Did I tell you that Cathy and I went in together for some Omaha steaks for Ken for a present? Like she said, he gets himself anything he wants or needs and his wants/needs are so very few that it's hard to figure out what to get him. The steaks come with a big chocolate cake so it's all taken care of. Tonight we're going to dinner with friends who also have November birthdays, to the Macaroni Grill, an Italian resturant in a town nearby called Temecula. It's known for its winearies....This morning, I made Ken breakfast and broke off a tooth or some porcelin from a bridge eating bacon. Will find out later when I to to the dentist...... That's about it for now, see you later.

[Mr. J]

Interesting thread, but I'm not sure what to say.

Got out of bed: always blows
Went to work: sucked hardcore, thought incessantly
Came home: pet cat, drank wine, played on Internet, thought incessantly while listening to music. Perhaps did some writing or entertained productive thought.
Went to bed: the day is over, but dammit, this just means a new one will soon begin

So the cycle continues. Routine is the good life, don't rock my boat. At least nothing spontaneous got the drop on me--the horror. Before bipolar, my every action was dictated by routine and ritual, which I now seem incapable of. Then, there are my rare OCD-like phases that rekindle the magic. The trouble with that is that the mindset which encourages chaos also fosters the greatest creativity, or destructive madness depending on the severity. I try to stay tidy, but how about being a bit fucked up.

I never make plans and I do the same thing every night. As I've always said, "no life is the best life." I mean it and I live by it.