EVEN IF you are taking them just as prescribed, no abuse, you are highly likely to become addicted in a remarkably short time, and I was. In the past 27 years of taking crazy meds, I've been so careful and have never become addicted to anything, especially not benzo's. Then this stupid man goes and gives me a 6mth script. When I quit, I discovered that they have a HORRIBLE and well documented withdrawal syndrome and one should never cold turkey off them. I had to learn this the hard way.
I'd been taking Dormicum (midazolam) nightly for about 5 months, as prescribed, for sleep. In addition I had some Rivotril (clonazepam, Klonopin) to use as a PRN. In the last month, I've felt so rotten, I was taking it every night just to blot out and escape. I got to the end of my monthly supply, both at the same time and I just never went and fetched any more from the pharmacy, as they weren't working any more. I was taking Dormicum 15mg and Rivotril 2mg. The day after I quit, I had a pdoc appointment and I said I had quit and could I please just stay off them. I had become tolerant to them both within about 2 weeks and they were actually useless, so I didn't see the point in continuing to take them. He was fine with that, but the stupid man never WARNED me about the withdrawal syndrome and that I should taper off. Grrrr.
Those of us taking benzo's as prescribed are known as "accidental addicts". But we are still addicted, just as if we had abused it. And apparently one must NEVER quit cold-turkey, it can even be dangerous in some instances, with seizures.
So, I had some really nasty symptoms, but I figured I was already off, so I was going to tough it out. Severe insomnia. As in 17 hrs of sleep in 7 nights. By day 5 I was hallucinating. During one of the hallucinations, I saw 2 arbitrary men knocking very loudly on my front door at 3 am. I have a peephole in the door, so saw them, said "who is it" but they didn't say a word. (Bizarre, did they think I was going to open the door at 3am to strangers?? Eventually, after a lot of questions from me, I decided to go back to bed, but then got really nervous about having men outside my door. I called the police, they came quickly, but by then the men had gone.
I also had a chat with my eldest daughter and then my youngest came through and asked who I was talking to. I said, "didn't Laura come by?" and she said, "no mom, there is only you and me here". .... I was talking to my voices, sigh...
The other thing I had severely, was involuntary muscle jerks and facial twitches, lots of them, including my teeth clamping shut - and biting my tongue along the edges, repeatedly in the same places. My face twitched all the time. My legs and whole body, kept jerking. I got really nervous about them, as I wondered if they were EPS's from the Seroquel, but then my pdoc said, they're benzo withdrawal. THANKS A LOT idiot, you knew about the discontinuation syndrome and YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME. I also had bad memory loss, couldn't remember words that I knew well and my speech kept being disrupted by spasms and tics. I had cognitive impairment, emotional blunting, depression, "sensory hypersensitivity", problems with balance, tolerance and dependency. They cause actual, structural brain damage. Fortunately all of the symptoms disappear, and the brain reverses the changes and repairs the damage completely, but it may take a long time. This is not to say they don't have therapeutic uses, they do, and I don't want to negate that.
In researching the discontinuation syndrome, I discovered a excellent website (http://www.benzo.org.uk) by Prof. Heather Ashton, a UK psychiatrist who specialises in benzo withdrawal, which she does VERY slowly. She writes "Nearly all the excitatory mechanisms in the nervous system go into overdrive and, until new adaptations to the drug-free state develop, the brain and peripheral nervous system are in a hyperexcitable state, and extremely vulnerable to stress" The site lists and explains all the (numerous!) symptoms and at least reassured me that I wasn't on a fast track to tardive dyskinesia. I still have some jerks and twitching, but very much reduced (and no more tongue torture). She says these symptoms can last for months and in some cases even years. Now I am sleeping well, no more hallucinating and no more talking to people that don't exist. So it is actually clearing up quickly, for me.
Anyway, the moral of this story, and what I wanted to convey, was DON'T COLD TURKEY,'TAPER. These drugs have teeth and they bite you back if you just leave them out in the cold. Bloody awful.
Sorry this is so long, it was just so ghastly and I wanted to warn people, so you don't think you are going mad if you stop. Relatively speaking, that is.
- Luna
PS. I am MORTIFIED that I called the police. There really ARE batty, middle-aged women (with cats) who "see things" and call the police out on wild goose chases! NEVER did I think I would be one. I cringe when I think of it and get highly embarrassed; thank goodness they don't know.
