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Home: Related Disorders: BPD: Boundaries

Boundary Issues in the Personality Disorders

From my archives. If you are the copyright holder, please contact me.

Signs Of Unhealthy Boundaries

  1. Telling all
  2. Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting.
  3. Falling in love with anyone that reaches out.
  4. Being overwhelmed by a person-preoccupied.
  5. Acting on the first sexual impulse. Being sexual for your partner, not for yourself.
  6. Going against Personal values or rights to please others.
  7. Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.
  8. Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.
  9. Touching a person without asking.
  10. Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting.
  11. Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving.
  12. Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
  13. Letting others describe your reality.
  14. Letting others define you.
  15. Believing others can anticipate your needs.
  16. Expecting others to fill your needs automatically.
  17. Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
  18. Self-injury.
  19. Sexual & Physical abuse.
  20. Food & Chemical Abuse

Healthy Boundaries

  • You are willing to say no, to let other know when they're stepping on your toes; you're also willing to say yes.
  • You have the ability to make requests and to seek alternatives when others must say no to you.
  • You have a strong sense of identity and self-respect.
  • You make appropriate self-disclosure; you reveal information about yourself gradually and only as mutual sharing takes place and trust develops.
  • You expect shared responsibility for relationships. You recognize when a problem is yours or another person's; when it's not your problem, you don't jump in to rescue the other person. You do not tolerate disrespect or abuse.

Collapsed or No Boundaries

  • You can't say no for fear of abandonment or rejection.
  • You share too much personal information too soon.
  • You take on other's people's feeling's rather than just feeling empathy.
  • You have a high tolerance for abuse and for being treated with disrespect.
  • You believe "I must have deserved it" when treated badly.
  • You do anything to avoid conflict.
  • You have no ability to see flaws in others because you're focused on being what you think other people want you to be.
  • You have no sense of self.

Modified March 1, 2006

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