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Home: Writings: Poems: Tainted

Tainted with Myself

Yes, I feel tainted with myself.

I will depart, not of this world
but, from the agony of myself
Pull away, confess delusions
Surrender to Hell

Destruction invites rebirth
This, my only reprieve
Innocence gone then
Numbness conceived

Pain in the truth
Fear of my life
Freedom by virtue
No solitude, nor suicide

Helplessness...Life's
Feeble excuses
Transform the lies
Inflicts past abuses

Alternative thinking
Physical releases
No rest for the mind
Constantly thinking

My consciousness
Releases me
My bondage
Consumes me

Tainted
Contaminated
A child within
somehow corrupted

Predoomed
Postdommed
Face the inevitable
Change is futile

The force within
Waiting to escape
The Beast lives forever
Make no mistake

Bye for now my friends
I must retreat.....

The Beast Within

 

About this piece
This was written in a moment of depression. I was trying to deal with my disorder, my Mother's suicide and her BP, and the many times I had fell victim to those who had physically abused me in my life. Somehow they all fit together in this fight for life in which I face daily.

Love in Light,

Staci,
email: Bstwithin@aol.com

Modified December 11, 2002

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